Blogpost #8: Dealing with Breakups

           At one point in our lives, we will experience loving someone deeply. That “someone” will get all the love you can give and will be the center of your life. You will see him or her as someone so perfect that you will never see the person's negative traits. Your attention will be focused on that person and you will be more than willing to do anything for him/her. Sadly, relationships don't always last forever and worse, some love remain unreciprocated. 

           I know what it feels like to fall in love with someone. I have already experienced it at a very young age and it wasn't that easy. I thought our relationship would last forever, but I was wrong. I loved him with a love that was beyond one's imagination and I know he loved me, too; but things didn't turn out the way we wanted them to be. I guess, we're still too young to be in a serious relationship or maybe we're not really meant for each other. I guess, even if two people are deeply in love with each other, there will still be conflicts and misunderstanding between them one way or the other. When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, I knew I was going to have a hard time moving on. I cried for three consecutive days and I could hardly focus on my studies. I asked myself so many times why we ended up that way and where I went wrong. But then I realized, I should not feel that way forever. I should be strong cause if not, I would be on the losing end. So, little by little, I was able to get back on my feet with the help and support of my mom and my friends. 

           So, how can one completely move on? I have come across an article written by Rhadson in Tumblr “Paano Mag-move On”. It's very interesting and I can actually relate to it and I'm glad I did what I was supposed to do after I broke up with the person I thought I couldn't live without. Here are some advice on how you can move on after a breakup. 

           First, cry out all the pain you feel inside. It took me three days before I finally got tired of crying and after that I felt better. It was the very first time I felt so depressed, but then, I realized life had to go on even if it meant living my life without “him”. It wasn't that easy, but after some time, I was able to smile and laugh again like I used to. I told myself I would never love that much again so it wouldn't be very painful if a future relationship wouldn't work out right again. 

           Second, keep yourself busy with things that you find interesting and stay active. Develop your talents and discover new ones. Talk to your friends. I decided to come out of my shell after that terrible breakup, I joined our school's basketball team even if I knew I couldn't play that game as good as the old-timers. Funny, but I was given the MVP award despite my being a novice in that sport. I also joined our school's annual cheer dance competition and I performed in the Dance Revolution Program as well . And for the first time, I joined a singing competition and luckily got the 1st prize. Those activities kept me busy I didn't have time to think about him anymore. The best part of being single again was having enough time to bond with my best friend again. Because of her, I realized the importance of having friends. She tried her very best to make me happy and she never left my side when I needed a shoulder to cry on.

          Lastly, I started loving myself more. I came to a realization that I had been selfless for some time. I was so focused on how I could make my ex happy that I forgot to give time for myself. Now, I am loving the new “me” - more confident, outgoing and happy. 

           In another article entitled “How To Get Over A Breakup” edited by Kimi, James Quirk, Lisa Santana, Moofdaddy and 225 others in WikiHow, I tried to follow two of the ways on how to move on. These are Reminding yourself of the negative things and Removing memory triggers.
 
Reminding yourself of the negative things. I got so bitter during the time I was trying to fix what I was supposed to and started asking myself why I fell for someone like him. I told myself I deserved someone better...someone more good-looking, manlier and smarter ; someone I could really be proud of. I knew I sounded hateful, but it was the only way I could get over him. 

Removing memory triggers. My ex-boyfriend was the type of of guy who would make anniversaries very special. He would surprise me with scrapbooks, love letters, stuff toys, flowers, etc. during special occasions. After the breakup, I didn't even attempt to look at them again. I asked somebody to keep them. I didn't want see those things because they might bring back beautiful memories I had with him before. That helped me a lot in a way.

           Breakups may be difficult to handle at first, but as they say, “Time heals all wounds” and I believe it's true. What happened in the past will remain a lesson for me. I may have lost something, but I have gave so much more than that in return. I am a better person now.