Jealousy is a common feeling that overtakes a girl when she sees her partner with another girl who poses threat to their relationship. It is hard to overcome this feeling especially when you are not confident about yourself and the relationship itself. You fear losing your partner to this person and you start being suspicious and you constantly yearn for assurance that he won't leave you. Being jealous causes you to become too possessive. Thus, you demand more time with him. You ask a lot of questions like where he is, who he's with, what he's doing and sometimes you go as far as wanting to know what he's thinking, who he's thinking about and so on and so forth. You know this isn't doing your relationship any good, but you think it's the only way you can keep him.
A girl gets jealous for a lot of reasons. Even the simplest things can make her jealous like when he adds a female friend to his facebook account, when he follows a girl in twitter or likes a picture of someone she thinks he finds attractive. Even a past relationship can make her feel insecure at times. When he doesn't reply to her text messages right away, she thinks he might be busy texting someone else. She also hates it when his friends tease him to other girls. She starts comparing herself to these girls and wonders if she really is good enough to be his girlfriend.
Being jealous makes a girl do a lot of crazy things like checking on the other girl's background or personal life. She compares herself with this girl and tries to see who looks better than the two of them. She tries to find out how the girl and her boyfriend met and how their relationship went, what caused their break up, if they still get in touch with each other or if they still care for each other. She seeks her friends' opinion, too. She asks them if they think the other girl is pretty or not or if she's smarter than her. She hates seeing the girl and her boyfriend together and she checks if they are still calling or texting each other. She wants to make sure that it's really over between the two of them. She wants all the assurance she can get from her boyfriend and once he fails to give her enough reason to feel secure about their relationship, she gets disappointed and it often leads to a fight and eventually, they break up.
Jealousy causes a lot of relationships to fail. In the article "Top 10: Ways To Deal With Jealousy" written by Oliver Jameson in AskMen: Ask yourself why you're jealous, Face your fears, and Inquire if you're jealous, you can find ways that can make you overcome it.
First way is to Ask yourself why you're jealous. There are a lot of reasons why girls get jealous. Lack of self-confidence is one. Girls often compare themselves with other girls and they sometimes end up feeling insecure and they feel they're not good enough for their boyfriends. Their past experiences may also contribute as to why they're feeling that way. It could be that they had been betrayed by their partners before so, they think that it could happen again in their present relationship. It becomes very hard for them to trust their partners again.
Second way is to Face your fears. Get to know the people you're jealous of. Introduce yourself to them. Befriend them. Chances are they're really just friends after all and when you become friends, they can even help you have a better relationship with your boyfriend. They can give you advice and tips on how to make your relationship work. You will also find out more about your boyfriend through them.
Third way is to Inquire if you're curious. Be open. You should be more honest to your boyfriend. If something's bothering you, tell him. Once he finds out about your worries and true feelings, he might try harder to show you how much he really cares and he'd be more sensitive to your needs.
In another article entitled “9 Ways to Overcome Jealousy” written by Tina Su in ThinkSimpleNow, I think, one of the ways that may also be of big help to help a girl overcome her feeling of insecurity and jealousy is the one which says, “Stop comparing and write it out”.
Avoid comparing yourself to other people. We are all created unique. We all have our strengths and weaknesses as individuals. You may not be as beautiful as other girls, but you're smarter and you have the personality that makes you stand out in a crowd. Be confident. Focus on your good qualities instead of worrying so much about what you don't have. Besides, he chose you to be his girlfriend. That means he has seen something in you that other girls don't have. That should be enough reason for you to get over your doubts.
Write down your thoughts. For me, writing is one of the best ways that can make a person feel better. It is a stress-reliever. This is what I always do whenever I feel depressed or when I want to say something to the person I love when I can't bring myself to say it to him personally. Sometimes, we can express ourselves better with writing; especially when we pour out our emotions.
It's just normal for a person to be jealous especially when that person is in love, but it should not reach the point of breaking up with your beloved. Sometimes, you need to control your feelings and your actions as well. Learn to understand your partner. Avoid suffocating him. So if you're going to be jealous, know your limitation. Don't let jealousy get the best of you. Relationships are happier if they're problem free.
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